Go in Peace

3 03 2007

Last night I dreamt someone dear to me died in an accident.

Before I knew this, I was sitting in the waiting room, talking with a friend about how interesting the hospital was – there were angels all over the place. The funny thing was…only I could see them.

Many times during our conversation (which I don’t remember), I would be interrupted by an angel passing by, asking where they might find so-and-so (You would think they would know, being angels, but this is a dream, so bear with me). I remember the incredulous look on my friend’s face (which kept changing for some reason) when I explained why I seemed to be talking to thin air.

And then, someone came asking if I knew one of the people involved in the accident. I said yes, and was asked to follow the orderly up a short flight of stairs. The orderly then turned and offered me a slice of orange; I tried to refuse at first, but the orderly kept telling me to take it – it was part of a ritual of some sort.

I was then taken into this room that reminded me of the cabin my family and I stayed in during my first boat ride ever – dark, dingy, and horribly cold. One of the curtains separating the beds was spattered with blood.

I was led to a bed where someone lay, covered in a sheet. I trembled as the sheet was removed – there lay a total stranger. I protested, until the orderly told me that the body of the person I knew had been removed, and that I had to identify a necklace and a bracelet belonging to the person.

I looked, and I can still remember the tightening of my chest and the pain of revelation that hit my gut like a concrete fist – they belonged to my mother.

I remember crying in my dream, and trying not to cry at the same time. The orderlies just stood or sat there, until I reached out my hand to touch my mother’s belongings. I remember choking back tears as I summoned the strength to speak, and accepting the events somehow, managed to say, “Go in peace; we love you; Go in peace.”

And then I awoke…indescribably sad.




One response

6 03 2007

is this why you texted about bad dreams?

sigh. i terribly miss your guidance. i am surrounded by uninvited probing and unsolicited advice. accountability is so difficult if not impossible when there is lack of trust…

i hate the wind.

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